Jealousy as in the Thesaurus is defined as a sensation mostly negative, when we observe that something dear to us is being shared or tried taking possession of by another to whom it doesn’t belong. Unlike other emotions, I believe jealousy is one of those rare emotions that one encounters at the earliest of ages. Even a one year old is sensitive to jealousy when his or her mother pays attention to another child.
So why would I be any stranger to instances when I exhibited this emotion in life. Right back during childhood days, I could sense jealousy when my parents conferred importance and donated my share of love to others of my age (I am their only child after all). It was a little tingle in the stomach until teenage but once I was out there to live in the world as a fully grown, blooming in youth, I realized the tingling was slowly but surely remodeling itself into an enormous butterfly in the stomach to irrevocably taking shape of a raging fire every time I was jealous. The reasons behind feeling them had changed too. It could be importance bestowed by my favorite teacher to another student, another girl looking more desirable at a party, excessive attention displayed to another friend by a guy I had a crush on or another student being chosen as the lead singer in the school chorus. (Although I can reassure myself of that bit after I got the nightingale of the school title). Not only had the reasons for jealousy undergone a change but the outcomes too in terms of my reactions and behavior. When we are children, every outcome is more or less the same. We cry it out. But this wasn’t the best recourse anymore. Crying was evidence that I was jealous indeed, proof that I had acknowledged defeat. So unstimulating to my ego. A disgrace. End of a teenager’s world.
So jealousy brought along with it a tool kit I developed for all chronological times
1. a big box of self help tools, used to control the self emotion before it is too late
2. object fixing tools, used to make the person in the opposition position, oblivious that he or she is in fact creating a hurricane in our bodies with their acts,
3. and finally the subject fixing tool, which is your internal magnetic power, technically also the most important tool of this entire scenario, used to win back your belonging (both living or non living)
The most dangerous type of jealousy however is none of the above. It is when the ‘object’ is purposefully and deliberately striking to initiate your jealousy hormones. In such situations I have outlined two strategic paths. The first strategy is to engage into a head on like collision and wait to see who shall survive in the end. The outcome here can be a
· WIN which although drains you out completely, still manages to furnish back life after what is a COMA like feeling or
· THE LOST BATTLE which shall impoverish you out in the first place anyway.
The second strategy I have fostered to tackle a wilful act and which is my preferred path too, is to have the unaffected look on one’s face. But to pull off this look, one needs excellent theatrical skills no less than the likes of great oscar winning actors. I have personally had more successful than failed outcomes with this strategy.
The final emotion which punches me straight in is where I lose the jealousy battle and succumb to my heartaches and injuries of the mind and heart. Mind you these injuries have not left me to date, irrespective of whether I am still attached to the subject anymore or not. They are immortal memories I shall never forget which have made it to the hall of fame in my life’s most eventful library. I wonder what sort of jealous feelings I shall witness and experience in my old age. Maybe it will be around my kids or how much or rather less time they shell out for me in life. Or who knows, I might just end up getting jealous when my hubby as an oldie with silver grey hair walking without a stick with all teeth intact might get unwanted female attention and he might just bestow a smile back at them. The question is which of these strategies would I single out in that occasion!!!!